


Sprouts: Seeds of the Garden Prompts Filled by Me.

by Fromageinterrupted



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: But that's annoying, F/M, I want to tag all the things, I'll try and notate for each chapter, I'm really bad at staying around 400 Words, Maybe I should tag more appropriately, Maybe some of them will be angsty, Pidge is having none of it, Pining Lance is my favorite Lance, Prompt Fill, Seeds of the Garden, Some slightly suggestive stuff, Tumblr Prompt, a bit flirty, enjoy, flirtyrobot, pidgance, plance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2020-10-10 02:03:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 15,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20520149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fromageinterrupted/pseuds/Fromageinterrupted
Summary: Seeds Prompts go here.





	1. Tell Santa What you Want

**Author's Note:**

> My first contribution to the Seeds. "Slightly" more than 400 words. :-D

A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. 

At least that’s what Lance kept telling himself as he once again donned the red polyester suit and scratchy beard. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the padding had at least been a bit breathable, but as it was, it felt like he spent the majority of the day in a sauna. Getting paid for it helped a little (even though having money to help out his family was totally why he was here in the first place), having all the little kids coming and sharing their wishes with him helped a lot (could kids get any cuter than when they were telling Santa their wishes?), Getting to flirt with all the ladies who were working as his elves helped the most. 

There was one elf in particular that caught his fancy. Mostly because she wouldn’t flirt back with him, but she sure as heck could lay him out with a single sentence. 

Pidge, that was her elf name, had fluffy reddish hair and striking amber colored eyes and was so small that Lance mistook her for a young boy when they first met. Needless to say, their Santa/ Helper relationship did not get off to a good start. 

He had tried everything in his playbook too: pretending to be way into the other girls so she could see how committed he would be, asking the other girls on dates so she could see how good he was at planning dates, showing off his exceptional flirting skills when it was a babysitter that brought the kids to see him, but nothing worked. She would usher the kids up to him, give him their name, and help them sit on his lap. He’d try to flirt with her in those moments occasionally, but she would roll her eyes and turn around to get the next kid ready.

And he knows it’s not because she doesn’t like him. They’ve been hanging out here and there ever since Lance discovered they have a mutual friend in Hunk. He supposed that’s where his little crush started, that first time they all hung out at the mall arcade after work. It also happened to be the moment he realized she was a girl. When she showed up wearing slim jeans and a cropped t-shirt, Lance’s heart did a little flip over how cute she was out of her elf costume. But then he realized how cute she was in her elf costume. And how interesting she was. And how she could beat him at most video games, though there were a couple fighters that he would always win and she would try again and again to conquer them. And his newly formed interest in her must have been noticeable enough that Hunk started to tease him about “how it’s never going to happen” and how he “should just give up on his crush right now”. So Lance would be dramatic and then text Pidge to see what she was up to, and she would never just reply with a “Nothing much”, but would always go into detail on whatever project she was working on at the time.

Lance adored her. 

And she tolerated him.

It was only two days before Christmas and Lance was getting desperate. He was no closer to getting Pidge to fall for him than he was that first day and he was out of ideas. There was no surety they’d continue hanging out after their Holiday careers were over for the year. Of course, there was always the Easter Bunny, or maybe some St Patrick’s Day leprechaun, though maybe Pidge would be a better choice for that? He quickly set that thought aside, knowing she would kill him for even going there.

And it was excessively busy. Before Lance even sat down, a line had formed that extended beyond the rope barriers in place around the chair he sat in. He’d been at this almost 10 hour, with a couple of breaks between for lunch and a rest. He was blinded by the endless stream of flashes going off all day as each child sat on his lap and had their commemorative picture taken. 

Finally, the line had dwindled and the last child was brought forth. This one seemed a little shy, they had their back turned toward him. Nothing Lance couldn’t handle though. He reached out and picked the (heavier than he expected) child up and sat them on his lap.

On autopilot, he didn’t even bother to focus on the child’s face, instead opting to start right in on his spiel.

“HoHoHo! Who do we have here?”

No response.

Lance looked to his left, waiting for Pidge to give him some details like she would sometimes. She wasn’t there.

He turned back to the child finally focusing on their face. Lance almost jumped up in shock as a pair of amber eyes stared back at him.

“P-pidge!? Where’s the kid?” He realized as he looked around that the Santa booth was closed for the day and there weren’t any more kids.

No response again. She stared at him, a look of shock on her face and a bright red flush across her cheeks. She started to slide off his lap.

“NO!” Lance grabbed her around the waist and held her on her perch. “D-don’t go. You-you haven’t told Santa what you want yet.” Oh he was in for it, he was sure. Holding Pidge against her will, picking her up and sitting her on his lap in the first place. What was he thinking?

Still, there was no noticeable struggle on her end. She made no effort to move off his lap a second time but the flush on her face grew beyond just highlighting her cheeks and blossomed down her neck. Lance was frozen in place. The air between them stilled. He was freaking out internally, no idea what to next. Suddenly, Pidge wiggled in his lap, causing all thoughts to rush out of his head. 

She leaned forward, pushing his hat up a little and uncovering his ear. Then she spoke, soft and low, her warm breath sending shivers down his neck and warming more than his ear. “I want…”

Lance held his breath. He was going to hear it. Pidge’s greatest wish. She moved on his lap again, making it harder and harder to concentrate.

“Pidge?” Lance squeaked out when she didn’t continue her request.

“I want you….” Her hand slid up the front of his suit, sliding along his shoulder. She had gone from cold and aloof to fire and temptation all in a moment.

“...to get off this chair and clock out so I can go home. You’re the last one here and I can’t close up until that suit is back on its hanger.” 

She jumped off of his lap, reaching out her hands to help him up from the chair, her laughter echoing off the walls of the nearly empty mall.

Lance brushed down his suit. “Not fair Pidge.” He wasn’t sure what wasn’t but he felt extremely let down.

“What’s not fair?” She turned back around and faced him a genuine question in her look.

In a moment of insanity, Lance grabbed her and sat her down on the chair then sat directly on her lap, engulfing her frame with his long, lanky one.

“It’s not fair that I never get to share my wish.” Going against Santa regulation, he whipped his beard and hat off so he could fully look at Pidge.

The blush came back redder than ever. She stayed silent.

Lance rolled his eyes, he wasn’t sure if she was against playing this new game, or if he called her bluff a little too well. He pressed on.

“Santa wants to date Pidge. And only Pidge. Whaddya say? Do I get my Christmas wish?”

Pidge shifted below him, a smile spreading across her face. She beckoned him to lean down so she could whisper in his ear. He happily obliged.

“Katie wants to date Lance, and only Lance too.”

Lance shot back up. “I don’t want to date Katie! I only want to date you, Pidge. It’s you I like, not any of those other girls.”

Pidge laughed long and loud before she punched him in the arm.

“Okay.”

Lance’s heart soared. 

“Good.”


	2. Who's Going to Clean This Mess Up?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colleen Watches her garden grow. Lance is a little stunted.
> 
> Prompt: "We see lots of things where Pidge confesses her feelings. How about one where Lance confesses first."

Colleen loved growing things. She supposed it’s why she became chief horticultural expert upon the Atlas and later at the Garrison. After all, with as much space travel as everyone was participating in these days, the demand for fresh, Earthling-friendly food, had skyrocketed.

But it was more than that. It was holding life in her hands each time she planted another seed. It was re-birth as she watched the vines and leaves crawl up the wires she had placed to stabilize them. It was peace as she worked to combine two species of plant creating something better. 

After The End, like when a forest is razed by fire, Colleen watched each person in her life start to grow again from the ashes of what was once their life. And she was there, to water, to care for, to watch. And her garden grew and thrived.

She was tending them today, throwing a dinner party for those closest to the Holts. Something akin to the Thanksgivings of old, a new Thanksgiving, one for the whole world to share and be grateful they have each other.

The table was bursting with food and drink, the warm atmosphere enveloping them all like a much needed hug on a chilly evening. Everyone had made it. Never in her life had Colleen imagined she would need a table that sat more than 20 people, but here they were, Sam, Matt, the MFEs and anyone who was intimately acquainted with Voltron and their families. Colleen softly smiled to herself as she looked down the length of the table, quietly assessing the health and well-being of each person gathered here. Her attention settled on Lance. 

He sat there between his sister and Hunk, a glowing smile on his face directed at the person across from him. Colleen was momentarily surprised, but happy to see him here. He’d never come to any of their larger dinners before. She supposed it was easier now that he was working at the Garrison, but living in another country had never stopped his sister or family from joining them each year.

When he returned, he had been just like the rest of her garden, a seed left after a fire, but unlike the others at the table, he hadn’t been tended to in a long time. Colleen knew that a seed, even small and coated with smoke, still had all the potential to thrive if placed in the right conditions. And so she had begun tending to Lance.

And now he was here, smiling, interacting, more alive than ever. Colleen beamed. She followed Lance’s line of sight, not surprised to see it directed to Katie. They had become close friends, in part to Colleen’s choice to use Katie to help fertilize the soil around Lance, and because they had been friends of a sort already.

Katie sat across from him, very intent on whatever conversation she, Lance, and Hunk were having. well,more like her and Hunk, while Lance smiled and nodded. 

One of the young men on the left of Katie interrupted and her attention was drawn away into a new conversation. Colleen loved this part of their dinner, the flow of words and ideas, the way one person could be involved in three or four different conversations at once. Fertilizing each other’s thoughts as the conversations grew. The young man casually put his hand on Katie’s arm and the close affection sent a jolt up Colleen’s spine. 

This didn’t feel right, like when an invasive species tried to take over a perfect cultivation. Part of being an expert gardener was knowing which plants worked best with each other. No one could accuse her of matchmaking, but the relationships she spliced together had produced fruit beyond anyone’s expectations. Colleen knew this match would not grow well.

“Katie,” Colleen spoke up, “Could you grab another bowl of mashed potatoes from the kitchen?” Distract, misdirect. Colleen had learned well from Sam.

“Huh? Okay mom.” Katie got up and when into the kitchen. 

Another glance around the table and Colleen’s study fell on Lance again. An emotional shift had occured in the air around him. He was staring at the door Katie had just walked through, a wild look in his eyes replacing the easy smile of earlier.

A brief yet confusing conversation Colleen had had with Hunk and Kinkade, in which they had teased her about “shipping plants”, flashed across her mind. She wondered at that. 

Lance was acting squirrlier the longer Katie was gone. Colleen was fairly positive his behavior had something to do with her daughter. His face had gone red and he was shaking his legs hard enough that she could feel it rumble through the heavily laden table. 

Colleen knew it had barely been a few minutes, but the boy’s overall condition seemed to be degrading by the minute. His countenance appeared to be verging on panic. She was just about to get up to go over and see what was happening with the young man when Katie came back through the kitchen door, fresh mashed potatoes piled high above the bowl’s edge.

All at once the table shook at the force of Lance standing up so quickly his chair fell over behind him, but not before it put a dent in the drywall.

“PIDGE!” 

Everyone stopped what they were doing. Lance had been a bit of a wild card since he came back, his reactions being very hard to gauge. Not even Colleen could guess where he was going with this and she had spent months observing the young man.

Katie seemed frozen in place, staring at Lance like a deer caught in the headlights.

Lance pointed at her. His face was flushed, his eyes unblinking. Time seemed to stretch in the moment of silence that followed his exclamation.

“I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO MARRY YOU!” 

What.

Colleen knew for a fact that Lance and Katie weren’t dating. She understood they were best friends, but assumed it was on the same level as her and Hunk. Buds, confidants, the gaming crew. Nothing in her daughter and Lance’s actions toward each other could have prepared her for a declaration of this magnitude.

A crash rang out and bits of bowl and mashed potatoes flew everywhere. No one moved.

Katie continued to stand perfectly still, a bright blush growing up her neck, seemingly unaware she had a destroyed bowl of mashed potatoes laying at her feet. Lance stared at her intently, holding his breath so thoroughly that the entire table quit breathing. Clearly he’d been thinking differently about Katie for a long time, and Colleen hadn’t noticed. 

The silence was finally broken by a quiet reply from Katie. 

“Yeah. Okay.”


	3. A Thread of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Pidge is slowly turning into a tree. They work together to try and find a cure. Horror."

Usually, the interconnectedness of the universe blew Lance’s mind. He got a kick out of landing on a planet only to find it was exactly like a story that was passed down through the ages on Earth. But not right now. Curse this Planet and curse the fools who lived here.

“Stay with me Pidge.”

She answered slowly, her voice low and gravelly.

“I..can’t..move. I..have..no..choice.” A ghost of a smile turned the corners of her stiffening mouth. 

Fear gripped Lance’s heart. Pidge’s condition was worsening quickly.

The first time they landed here, Pidge had been ecstatic. The weird, tree-like people delighted her and she went on and on about Ents. In essence, the people of this planet were Ents.

And they had a celebration and Pidge drank the water she was given, joking that maybe she’d get as tall as Lance if she drank enough. They left the planet without incident. He and Pidge had successfully ran a diplomatic mission on their own.

Days later Pidge ran into him, wide-eyed and shuddering. She grabbed his arm.

“Did you drink the water?” There was panic in her voice.

“What water? I drink it all day.”

“NO! The water on the Ent planet. During the celebration, did you drink it?” Her voice shuddered.

Lance hadn’t been feeling well the day of the celebration. Once he realized they were not offended by refusal, he did not partake of the food and drinks offered that day.

“No. I didn’t.” 

Pidge flopped forward in relief. “Then it’s just me.”

Lance was confused. “What?”

She hesitated a moment before blurting out quickly, “I’m turning into a tree or something. Coran helped me diagnose it.”

Fear thumped on his heart, Pidge, a tree? He grabbed her arms.

“What does that mean? How do we fix this?”

“No one knows. Coran doesn’t even know, and he knows everything.” A sob burst from her mouth.

Lance pulled her close, rubbing her back, trying to soothe her, or himself, he didn’t know.

“I’ll be here. Let’s go get this fixed.”

In the back of his mind, he realized she was indeed taller than a few days ago.

Days passed and nothing good happened. The whole team decided Pidge needed to return to the planet she drank the water on. Lance went with her. And they were useless. Telling them the same thing happened to their wives, how they ceased to be one type of alive and then ceased to be at all.

And Lance was livid. He cursed at them and dragged Pidge out of their assembly, her woody hand stiff in his. She was more tree than person now, like a bonsai that was purposefully shaped to remind someone of their humanity.

“I..can’t..breathe..Wait...I..can..it’s...just...different…” Lance watched as leaves unfurl from where her hair had been. She was beautiful and surreal, he watched as the transformation sped up along her torso. 

Tears fell from both of their eyes. What could he do? He felt powerless, he’d wasted so much of their time together. He loved her. He loved her and she didn’t know it and he had minutes left and no answer and the stupid people from this planet could only say that magic worked however it wanted and that Pidge would make a lovely tree anyway. That it wasn’t a bad way to live out the rest of her life. Well screw them. There must be something he could do. 

The woody change in Pidge’s skin crept up her throat, fear and panic gripping them both.

“Lance.” there was so much more said in that moment than just his name. 

Desperate, he thought of the stories of old, of how frequently there were deep truths among the fantasy, how glaring solutions hid among the texts and more than once he and the team succeeded by drawing from their fount of fantasy knowledge.

Lance held Pidge’s face between his hands, tears streaming harder down his face than ever before. Pidge couldn’t move her mouth anymore. Her eyes held a fear he had not seen in ages. 

He wanted to look away, he didn’t want to see her end this way. He also wanted to draw in every remembrance of her if this didn’t work. His heart was breaking in his chest. He stared deeply in her still human eyes. 

“I love you. I love you. I love you. Don’t leave me.” And when Pidge’s eyes widened at his declaration, he pressed forward and placed a kiss upon her wooden lips.


	4. For Science!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt Fill: Pidge asks Lance to break Keith's pull-up record. A record that doesn't exist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm pretty thirsty for the MFEs and kind of left Keith out of this story. Sorry about that. But I love writing thirsty Pidge.

Pidge rubbed her hands together and licked her lips.

Was it hot in here or was that just her? 

She couldn’t believe it worked. Such a convoluted plan, but, then again, Pidge loved the complicated. 

She blamed Nadia for the idea. She had to blame somebody, she would absolutely die if her parents found out. No, wait, make that Matt. Matt could positively not find out about any of her newly planned, hopefully repeated, experiments.

And really, Nadia and Veronica (and, okay, Romelle) had truly had her cardiovascular health in mind when they drug her to the gym a week back. And it definitely got Pidge’s heart racing. Just not in the way they had planned. Though, when she thinks of the shenanigans those three got up to on a regular basis, perhaps this had been their initial intent. Pidge would have to run more experiments, just to be sure.

Also, though she had grown up most of her teen years around a ton of hot guys (four is a ton, right?), she was not prepared to witness what a few years into adulthood could do for a man. Kinkade was doing squat-thrusts which sent Nadia into an immediate and complete tizzy. James was doing crunches while hanging upside-down on the equipment. Every time he extended himself, his tank top slid up his chest revealing the already well defined abs he was so faithfully working on. Veronica suggested he take his shirt off so it wouldn’t slip around, and when he agreed, every girl in the gym held their breath. 

It was so worth it. 

The girls swept their way through the gym, leaving a trail of shirtless, sweaty guys in their wake. Pidge had to shudder a moment when Veronica used one of the older women to charm Coran’s shirt off him. To each their own she guessed (even though he was totally ripped for an almost 11,000 year old dude).

It was a sight to behold, and it stirred some longing in Pidge she had always been able to suppress quietly and quickly. A longing that always ended with her only wanting to see one particular guy shirtless when it came down to it. And he was pretty much the only one not in the gym.

“...Pidge?”

Lance’s voice cut through her thoughts. “Oh, yes…”

“How many did you say James did? Or was it Kinkade who was the winner?” 

He was standing in her lab, performance gear hugging his body closely as he stretched his lean muscles in preparation for her ‘tests’. She had outfitted her lab with a chin-up bar and lots of official looking equipment so Lance wouldn’t catch on.

She looked up from her clipboard, trying to seem clinical. “If I told you, it would skew my findings. Just do as many as you can.” The heart monitor nearby began to beep a little quicker.

“But I want to beat them.” His competitive streak shone on his face and Pidge almost had to sit down. 

Lance moved to the chin-up bar, putting his hands in place. “Tell me when.”

“Hold on!” Pidge came over and stood right next to him. The heart monitor sped up once again.

“Uuu..Something up?” 

Pidge began to pull up on his shirt.

“Woah! Hey! Cut that out! What are you doing!?” Lance seemed shocked and confused. The heart monitor beat faster and faster, and the “experiment” hadn’t even started yet.

‘Sorry Lance, But, you see..” Her plan was coming along wonderfully “...Kinkade and James both had their shirts off when they did the same experiment. It wouldn’t be scientific if you didn’t have yours off as well…” 

Lance eyed her curiously, seeming to mull over her declaration.

Finally he shrugged and Pidge got a front row view of him slowly peeling his shirt off and over his head, revealing each inch of his perfect, tan skin in what seemed like slow motion. The heart monitor was going crazy.

“Like this?” He hadn’t moved from directly in front of her, and she involuntarily licked her lips when his voice came out a little low and hoarse. 

Pidge swallowed hard.

“Th-that’ll do nicely.”

She watched in awe as he executed perfectly timed pull-ups, over and over, each ripple of his muscles sending her into some sort of trance. Would that stupid heart monitor shut up? Why had she hooked it up anyway. 

It continued to beep mercilessly fast and loud.

Pidge continued to stare, lost in the absolute eye candy that Lance was. 

Nadia ran into her lab, “Pidge! What’s that horrible beeping!?”

Pidge watched in horror as Nadia’s eyes fell on the heart monitor and began to follow the wires from the machine, along the floor, to where they disappeared into Pidge’s shirt. 

A smug smile stretched across her lips. “Why Pidge, you thirst h-”

With a yelp, Pidge shoved her out of the lab.


	5. Two Outta Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Pidge has Lance help plan a fake wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I Really Really love this prompt. I may write more for this.

“Are you sure about this? You’re spending an awful lot on deposits for an event that isn’t even going to take place. You know these are mostly not refundable, right?”

Pidge shrugged at the concerned look on Lance’s face as if the amount she was spending was nothing, not to mention the time she was effectively wasting, her’s as well as Lance’s.

Sure her family was loaded. She was loaded for that matter. Lance had never met someone quite so accomplished at such a young age. He willingly ignored the fact that he was only two years older than her with a wildly successful wedding planning business of his own.

But did she have to waste her time and money on such a ridiculously elaborate scheme just to get back at an ex-fiance, who Lance was sure never valued Katie for who she was anyway.

“I know you don’t get it, but the guy deserves to have his life ruined. And as long as I’m angry at him, I’m going to spend my time and my money making him regret hurting me. What’s it to you anyway? I’m paying you a pretty penny to plan this, you should be happy.” She poked him in his chest several times during her diatribe as if to drive her point home to him. All Lance could see was her shining golden eyes and how the angry flush only served to brighten them. He almost lost his train of thought.

He shook his head slowly putting his hands on her shoulders against his better judgement.

“Listen, I’m not being mean. Believe me when I say I’ve arranged several weddings for people who did not love each other and I was perfectly okay with helping them ruin their lives. But you’re planning a wedding without anyone to marry and I guarantee that your ex doesn’t care one bit. I’m worried about you. It’s not good to put this much time and effort into whatever kind of revenge you think this is.” 

Pidge threw his hands off of herself in a huff. “I don’t care what you think! Just do what I ask and it’ll...wor-” A sob replaced her forgotten words.

Lance heart lurched in his chest when her face crumpled. Without warning she threw herself into his arms, clutching the front of his shirt and burying her face in his chest.. He didn’t hesitate to wrap her in his embrace, slowly running his hand through her hair, trying to provide comfort where he knew none could be found.

“Shh. Shhh. It’s going to be okay. I was wrong. It’ll work. We’ll make it work.” He moved his hand to join the other one rubbing up and down her back, denying his joy at having her in his arms. 

“I’ll plan the most amazing fake wedding ever. Even people who don’t know you will be envious. Ol’ Nipple Face will forever regret hurting you.” He felt more than heard her snicker at his name calling. He pushed her back so he could get a good look at her, rubbing his hands up and down her arms.

“You like that? You want me to make you the best wedding ever?” She nodded, the most adorable pout on her lips. 

Lance’s heart soared. “You want flowers and cake and giant blow-up swans?” 

Pidge hit him softly as a full chuckle escaped her lips.

“No swans you dummy.” She continued to laugh, her red-rimmed eyes crinkling at the corners. “I do need a groom though. Someone hot. Someone funny. Someone with more degrees than that bozo has.”

She looked up, a contemplative expression on her face. 

This was about to be the most stupid thing Lance has ever done, right below falling in love with the girl in front of him.

“I’ll be the groom. Two out of three ain’t bad. Right?”


	6. How's This for Brave AND Stupid!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the Prompt "How's this for brave AND stupid?"

“I don’t know man, I’ve got to do something to get her attention. Sometimes it’s like she doesn’t even know I exist. You know?” Lance threw himself back onto Hunk’s bed, hitting the wall and causing one of the framed pictures to fall. With lightning fast reflexes, he was able to grab it before it hit the ground and broke.

Hunk rolled his eyes at him. “Quit being so dramatic. She notices you just fine. You know how she gets though. “ he made little flitting gestures with his hands. “She’s driven.”

“But I mphfhsa” Lance rolled over and smushed his face into one of Hunk’s pillows. In his long-suffering patience, Hunk reached out and patted his friend’s back. 

“I know buddy. I know.”

\---------

No matter how big her hat, sunglasses, and cover up were, Pidge’s skin prickled from the very idea of being exposed to the relentless sun overhead. The atmosphere around the public pool wasn’t helping her discomfort, as the humid, chlorine filled water evaporated and went right to her sinuses. She understood why Allura dragged her here, she really did. The two senior lifeguards were just about perfect, and their appeal was not lost on Pidge. And she was happy to aid her friend in her pursuit of the ponytailed one, though Pidge suspected no pursuit was needed. Allura was amazingly beautiful and smart and the whole student body knew it. 

But, regardless, Pidge was here under the pretense of solidarity for her friend. There was no way she was going to let anyone know that she herself was hoping to catch a few moments with one of the junior lifeguards. 

Her three friends, Keith, Hunk, and Lance, were all in the Junior Lifeguard program, spending their summer learning to save lives, though Pidge was sure the bikinied girls had a lot to do with it. At least for Hunk and Lance. Keith was probably here because his brother, Shiro, was a senior lifeguard, and Keith followed Shiro everywhere. 

Pidge hunkered down in her robe, looking for a glimpse of Lance somewhere among the throng.

\-----------

“Hunk! Hunk!” Lance’s voice echoed around the empty locker room. Hunk came around the corner, his bright yellow and red trucks almost blinding Lance.

“What in quiznack’s name…” Hunk ran a hand down his face.

Lance preened, causing some face paint to smear so the heart painted on his cheek looked a lot more like a butt. “You think this’ll work? I worked all night on it.” He spun, the myriad of colors adorning his body morphing into a grey swirl.

“Why am I your friend?”

\-----------------------------------

Pidge had almost given up her search for her friends (Lance) when a commotion near the high dive drew her attention. A crowd had gathered at the bottom, everyone around the pool shouting and egging on whomever was at the top. 

There was Lance, standing at the top, completely covered in body paint, shouting through a magaphone, “Pidge! Will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend and going to prom with me!?” He unfurled a cape that had a picture of her covered with hearts. 

Pidge threw her sunglasses off as she stood up. “You fool!” She shouted, though it was said with a full helping of fond affection.

Lance tried to strike a pose, slipping on his cape in the process. Shock rippled through the crowd as he plummeted to the pool below, but not before hitting his head on the smaller diving board beneath. Everything went black before he even hit the water.

————————

He woke up in a hospital room, several concerned faces staring down at him. One face in particular was especially upset, he could see the evidence of tears. 

“Hey.” He tried to flash a smile.

She grabbed him, causing his head to pound. “Don’t hey me. You almost died!”

“I think it was pretty brave of him to get out there and expose himself like that in front of everyone. “ Hunk defensed his friend.

“And stupid. If I agree to be you girlfriend, will you quit being such a moron?”

Lance saw nothing but fond affection in her eyes.

“I make no promises.”


	7. Dealer's Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PROMPT: Pidge loses a bet to Lance. I'll leave it up to you to decide what the bet is and what the penalty for losing is.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Pidge began to wonder if she set herself up. She doesn’t lose.

Ever.

At least not when it counts.

Wagering against Lance is nothing new to her. They’ve had a friendly rivalry going for years, that started on the Castle of Lions and slowly progressed to bigger and bigger stakes as the years passed. 

The last time she won, Lance had to buy her a car.

The last time Lance won, she had to go to Cuba with him for a week. Which ended up being kind of a win for her, because she had a fantastic time there and fell in love with his family even more.

Now she was sitting alone in a room. Just waiting. 

The overhead lights made her uncomfortable with the slight flicker they gave off. One of them had a pattern in its flicker, the other, not so much. For a moment she thought of climbing up on the table and fixing them. In this day and age, poorly functioning lights shouldn't be a thing. 

Her skin prickled. What was taking them so long?

She thought it had been a throw away bet. They had been playing a video game marathon, battling one another, game after game, making a wager each one. Pidge had won all of them, 9 days, 9 games, 9 winning bets. They turned on the remaining game and Lance turned to her, “how about we make this an all or nothing wager?” Pidge cocked her head to the side, this could be interesting. 

“I’m listening.”

“Okay, final bets, if you win, you get everything you’ve won so far, plus I’ll be at your disposal for a whole day. And you know how much I love to clean. If I win, you give up all your current winnings and I get one demand. Fair enough?” Lance leaned back, overly confident for someone who basically just sold themselves into slavery.

Pidge only had to ponder for a moment. Lance really did like to clean things, and she was on a major winning streak, and her apartment was a total wreck lately. What did she have to lose?

“Deal.” She licked the palm of her hand and held it out to seal their bets. 

“Gross Pidge.” Regardless of his disgust, he still licked his own palm and shook her hand. “Deal.”

They played like their lives depended on it. They were neck in neck the whole game until the very end, where Lance unleashed some skills he hadn’t let on he had attained along the way. He blew past Pidge’s character and won by a wide margin. Pidge was floored. How could this happen?

Lance said a quiet “yes”, placed his controller on the ground, turned to her with a rather lascivious look upon his face, and pounced. 

She blushed at the memory. A knock sounded on the door shortly before it opened. 

The doctor peeked her head around the corner, looking down at the chart in her hand. “Well Katie,” she flipped through a few pages before making direct eye contact with her. “Your suspicions were valid.” 

Pidge held her breath. Oh. 

“It looks like you’re right around 12 weeks. Are congratulations in order?” The doctor kept a neutral look on her face.

A small smile turned the corners of Pidge’s lips. There was no reason to worry, this is what Lance had wanted. The only thing was, when he asked for her first-born child as the ante for their bet, she never thought it would happen so soon, nor entertained the idea that her first-born might also be Lance’s.


	8. The Area of my Expertise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PROMPT: Realising she has a crush on Lance, Pidge tries to start giving him compliments instead of her usual snark and sass. It does not go as planned.

“Hunk!”

A shiver involuntarily ran up Hunk’s spine when he heard Pidge call his name, he managed to duck behind the first corner he could find.

This had to stop.

“HUNK! I saw you! Don’t try to hide from me.”

Despite her small size, her stomps echoed off the Garrison hallways. He squared his shoulders, might as well face this train wreck head on.

Pidge rounded the corner at the same time he moved from his hiding place, both colliding into each other. Hunk felt impressed that Pidge stayed standing and hardly moved from her position, she seemed to never lose any of her paladin training no matter how much time had passed.

“Did you see Lance run this way?” She asked him between breaths.

Not this again. Hunk held her shoulders and leveled his gaze on her. “You’ve got to stop threatening Lance. He’s only been back here for 6 months. We don’t want him to run back to the farm now, do we?”

Pidge swiped his hands off her shoulders. “What! I’m not threatening him!” an air of pride poured from her as she pointed her thumb at her chest. “_I’m_ complimenting him. Just like you said to the other day.”

Hunk thought back to their last conversation the other day while they worked together in the hangar.

_ Pidge had thrown a wrench at Lance and told him to be helpful or scram, which ended with Lance retreating quickly. The look of longing on Pidge’s face as she watched him leave was more than Hunk could bear. _

_“You know..you could try being nice if you wanted him to stay.” _

_Pidge whipped her head over to him fast. “What do you know?” Suspicion darkened her look. _

_Hunk rolled his eyes. “I’m saying, you can catch more flies with honey. That’s all.” He shrugged. _

_A sharp glint flickered through Pidge’s eyes before she said, “So you’re saying Lance is a fly?” _

_Hunk laughed. “You know what. Never mind.”_

He never thought Pidge had been listening to him. Maybe she was more aware than he thought?

“Anyway, I’ve got to split, man. Lance is gaining distance.” With that Pidge took off down the hallway in pursuit.

Almost immediately, his phone buzzed in his pocket. It was a message from Lance.

**BROTATO**: You didn’t tell Pidge where I went did you?

** ME:** Noooo. Certainly not. What’s up?

**BROTATO:** I must have majorly ticked her off and I don’t know what I did!

** ME:** Why do you think she’s ticked?

**BROTATO:** She said she wanted my eyes. That she would pluck them out just so she could stare at them all day! WTQ!

**ME:** LOL!

**BROTATO:** It’s not funny! She wants to blind me. And she told me she wishes she could keep me locked up in her lab just so she could have her way with me whenever she wanted! Scary!

**ME:** Pidge…

** ME:** I’m not one to butt in, but I don’t think she means it quite the way you’re taking it.

** BROTATO:** What’s that supposed to mean!? Oh heck, she’s found me. Gotta go!

As he put away his phone, Hunk chuckled to himself. He was going to have to have a long talk with Pidge, and maybe it was time to butt in.


	9. Warm Fuzzies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Pidge can talk and understand her space bugs and they are the only ones she ever talks about her crush on Lance. Space bugs try to encourage her

Impossible as it seemed, Pidge somehow managed to slam the automatic sliding door to her room, startling the little trash floofs who were resting on her trash sculptures. They were partial to the Lance and Hunk sculptures, even after all these years. So partial, in fact, that anytime the Atlas was on a mission, Pidge would make sure the sculptures came along with them in her room. 

The floofs loved her, their little cheek marks glowing as they glided over to find out what had upset their beloved Pidge. 

Sensing their company, Pidge reached up and scratched the little blue one on its belly. It blinked its large eyes at her.

“I know. I should be over this, right?” She flopped back onto the bed, the floofs landing gracefully on her chest, nuzzling her like kittens.

Pidge narrowed her eyes at them, “What do you mean ‘it’s okay’. It’s not okay. I thought it was okay. But it’s not. I’m two days into our 6 month long mission and my heart is racing the moment he looks at me and turns that stupid handsome smile my way.” She grabbed her pillow and squished it on her face, screaming into it.

Blue looked at Green. Green hovered over Pidge’s head, sending gentle, peaceful waves her way, hopefully they would help her calm down.

They loved that Lance came back from the farm. They had missed Kaltenecker and the mice, their bosom friends. But moreso, they had missed Pidge talking to them at all hours about her never ending crush on Lance. They had been happy when Pidge was on missions with Lance, knowing they would get a belly full of warm fuzzies when she returned and went on for days about him. They enjoyed when Pidge would go play video games in Lance’s room, delighting in the vibes that poured from each person as they hovered around them. They were almost as broken hearted as Pidge when Lance and Allura had been dating. The Pidge of that time poured out her heart in huge tears that soaked their fur and watered their desire to help her. 

Then the end of the war came, and Pidge had gone mostly silent. She’d talked to them of Hunk and Keith and Shiro, of her new friends the MFE pilots, of getting her own place and hanging with her brother and all the changes that had entered her life. But the warm fuzzies were gone. 

She was content, but not satisfied. 

Which meant that they were content but not satisfied. 

But then Lance showed up back up a few months ago, and the floofs have had full tummies since. 

Pidge’s newest ‘Lance rant’ was interrupted by her communicator. 

“What is it?” She maintained a bored expression while staring at the person on screen.

“Hey, I...you know..I have some free time, thought maybe you’d like to come over and play a few rounds of ‘Voltron Vehicle Force 15’ with me?” The voice sounded hopeful. The floofs loved it.

Pidge cleared her throat, “First off, why are there already 15 versions of that awful game, and second, I’ll be right over!” She jumped up from her bed trying to fix up her hair and clothes as she headed out. She stopped, made a u-turn to her closet and changed into a Paladin Lance t-shirt she had found at a swap shop about a year ago. The door made a quiet shoosh behind her.

Blue floated around, looking for Green. It seemed they both had the same idea. Green had already started up the old laptop that Pidge had forgotten about. The laptop that contained many several minutes of her going on about Lance over the years. The laptop that held proof that Pidge was far from ever being over her crush on Lance. 

Somewhere along the way, Platt and Chulatt had joined them, nosey as they were. They ensured the floofs that their idea was going to work. Green pulled up a compilation they had all worked on, Chulatt typed in Lance’s email, and Platt pressed send. 

The floofs were determined to never go that long without warm fuzzies ever again.


	10. Checked Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge is a popular travel blogger and Lance is the manager of the hotel she stays at frequently. This veered off the initial ask.

Unspecified Research Trip 3: Week 1: Day 1

It’s a statistically beautiful day here in Varadero, Cuba. 

“Varadero again?” You query. “I thought you hated humid weather and too much sun?”

Your observations are indeed correct. 

However, if you take into account that the temperature fluctuates roughly 6-10 degrees between winter and summer, and there is a breeze that effectively cools the skin (or provides the illusion), you would begin to understand the appeal of returning to such a destination for research as one’s company tends to direct me.

No, you may not know what my company has me researching here. Yes I will strive to satisfy your every other curiosity regarding my current stay here. 

Hotel Esquisita is unlike any other place I’ve been sent these last couple of years. I’m pleased to find you all seem to enjoy my time here as much as I do. For those of you reading my blog for the first time, let me explicate:

I have to dwell here for three months minimum each time I’m sent. This time may be a little longer as I will be leaving periodically to meet back up at the research lab in the States. 

As stated before, the temperature is hardly the high end of warm. The breeze blows through my room easily as it faces the ocean. The food (when I remember to eat) is more than sufficient for quelling my hunger in the most satisfying manner. The beds are luxurious, and the couch (which I sleep on more often than not) is of significantly higher quality when compared with the other places I have travelled. 

But it is the hotel staff that makes my stay here something to look forward to every time. They are attentive and prompt, anticipating my needs before I do. The hotel manager especially.

Last time I stayed here he provided me with this corner room (of which I am in again), showed up on his day off when he heard I was sick and brought his mom’s (he calls her Mami) farm style soup to cure what ails me. He lives at his family farm, but does stay at the hotel quite frequently, and has also fallen asleep (with my permission of course) in my room after I invited him for a movie watch party on the nights I felt especially homesick. He cannot stay awake through more than one movie no matter what. States he needs his beauty sleep, but I would not let him leave.

I will not go into further detail in the off chance he reads this blog (what is the statistical likelihood of him being into travel and bionanotechnology? That’s about as likely as Hunk double modulating the gendocams.) I will not describe how caramel his skin is or how he is so tall I need to tilt my head all the way back to look at him if we are standing in close proximity. I will not say he has eyes the same color as the ocean outside of my hotel window. I will not remind my readers about how affected I am when he takes his tie off and rolls up his dress shirt sleeves when we are playing a video game together. He is in hospitality and has been very hospitable to me.

I will return tomorrow with day two. However, a knock on the door has reminded me that the manager has offered to take me to dinner tonight off-site. A little hole-in-the-wall with live music and dancing. He said he’s going to teach me to cha-cha and tango if it’s the last thing he does. But first, he’ll show me the sunset from his favorite spot.

This is the outfit I have chosen to wear. Friends, was it a good choice? What will I look like being spun around by Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome? (Don’t tell him I said that). 

****Photo***

I know this veered off wildly from the science portion of my travels, but I do believe I will have plenty to analyze with you tomorrow. My date is here. (Maybe I shouldn’t call it that?).

Nos Vemos.


	11. Castle in the Sky AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The characters of Voltron: Legendary Defenders, but in Castle in the Sky.

“We did good, Mama.”

Pidge ran a hand down her face in frustration. She adored her “boys” but sometimes they had the worst timing. A mortar hit the side of their ship, the Lion Butterfly, causing the whole thing to shift wildly to port. 

“Now is not the time! James, steer out of the wind! Kinkade, keep watch for any signs of the girl. Lance, shoot the richies’ ship down, carefully so no one is killed. Nadia, Ina, Veronica, you know what to do! And Lance, quit calling me Mama!”

Pidge whipped back around, her steely gaze trained on the instrument panels in front of her. She had personally installed the navigation system herself, building on the designs her dad and brother had left behind. If they could have grabbed the girl, she would be one step closer to having her family back. Instead, she was almost back to square one, searching for the girl in the inky black beneath them. Two hands grabbed her shoulders and began to massage them.

“It’s okay. We didn’t get the girl, but we took those richies for a ride. Look at the loot Mama.” Lance was right, there was a sizable pile of loot sitting under one of the windows on the starboard side. She nodded with agreement.

“I’m not mad at you boys, just frustrated because we lost her. And again, quit calling me Mama!” 

The hands on her shoulders stilled. “Why can’t I? You always let Kinkade and James and the girls call you that.” He leaned forward over her shoulder, his profile coming into her view. She tried to push him back, but he kept eye contact with her. 

She shrugged. “I don’t know, it just sounds ‘weird’ coming from you. Call me something else… Please.”

He gave her a thoughtful look before slowly moving back behind her, but not before whispering in her ear, “Okay, sugar.” Followed by a quick peck on her cheek.

When she had amassed her little band of thieves, she never expected to become quite figure of authority that she had. Though she was younger than all of them, some by several years, they looked up to her like children to their mother. Except Lance. He looked at her very differently. She blushed.

“That’s fine! Now go shoot that ship down!.”

He turned back to her and finger gunned “I already did.” Then he had the gall to wink at her!

“Mama! I see something!!” Kinkade yelled from one of the starboard decks. Pidge got up and ran, her heart racing in anticipation. 

Kinkade pointed down into the inky blackness below, “There! Right there!” Pidge leaves way over the edge of the railing, her long braid whipping around in the wild wind. Her eyes took a minute to adjust to the darkness, but then, there it was, a soft glow from way below. A glow that matched the glowing marks on the mystery girl’s cheeks.

Pidge fell back on to the deck, her breath coming in quick bursts. It’s real. The girl, the stone, the flying castle….the robots! All real. 

Lance came to her side, grabbed her hand, and smiled down at her. 

She squeezed his hand, hardly able to believe it. “I’m going to get my dad and brother back.” She whispered.

Lance looked into the cockpit of the ship, “Follow that glow fellas!”


	12. A Little Competition is Harmless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance finds out Pidge had a crush on Shiro. 
> 
> Established relationship.

All the text read was “Emergency. Not 911 emergency but come home as soon as you can!”

Pidge’s heart had been racing ever since she received Lance’s text, it didn’t help that there was no follow-up response to her “What’s happening!”. She quickly shut down her computer, let her dad know she had to run, and stole Shiro’s hover bike from the hangar. Darn Lance for driving her to work today and stranding her. 

The wind whipped across her face reminding her that she hadn’t even taken the time to throw a helmet on in her rush to get home. 

Pidge slowed the hoverbike long enough to put on the helmet. There was no need to rush, she reminded herself. No war was going on nearby, neither her or Lance were on a mission nor slated to be put on one for the next year thanks to the Garrison’s newlywed exemption allowance. Plus, they had only been married for a few weeks, just returning last week from their honeymoon and firmly investing in putting together their new apartment now that they were living in the same space. 

It was why Lance had taken the day off in the first place. Between his teaching and her lab work, they had been swept right back into a brisk workflow upon their return and their new place suffered for it. Lance had been determined to unpack all their combined boxes and get everything put away nicely. Pidge was more swamped then he was, and, truth be told, she’d rather not be around for the whole thing anyway. It was much nicer to come home to a cozy, clean apartment, than crashing, exhausted, because one spent their day making the apartment clean and cozy.

Even though she had slowed her pace, she must have still been traveling at far above the speed limit because she made it home in record time. After parking the hoverbike haphazardly on a curb, she bounded up the stairs to their apartment two at a time, which wasn’t an easy feat for someone as short as she was. Sometimes she really missed the ease of moving around in zero gravity.

Lance must have been watching from their balcony, because he threw the door open wide before she even reached it. His face had a look of betrayal upon it.

“SHIRO!? “ it was said with an almost accusatory tone tinged with betrayal.

Pidge looked back down the stairs at the hoverbike. She shrugged. “You said it was an emergency and I had to get here somehow.”

Lance looked confused. “What?” He shook his head in dismissal. “This has nothing to do with your new bike, which, honestly, we should probably talk about major purchases together you know.” Lance started to head back into the apartment, seeming less alarmed. Pidge followed.

Pidge closed the door behind her, watching as Lance grabbed a box off the kitchen counter. An old ammunition box, painted with little stars and robot arms and black lion heads. Oh no.

“Oh Yes.” Had she said that out loud? Lance lowered his gaze, attempting some sort of scowl to accompany his sad countenance. 

“Shiro!?...” The pause stretched out. He was probably hoping Pidge would fill the space in. Instead she cocked an eyebrow.

Their standstill didn’t last long though. “You had a crush on Shiro and you didn’t tell me!?” 

Oh he was being extra dramatic, had been actually since they got married. Sometimes Pidge wondered if she could be romantic enough for him. And now this.

“Yeah. I did have a crush on him. Emphasis on the did.” Honestly. 

He shot a crushed look her way before running back into the bedroom and coming out with a stack of various receptacles. OOHHH NO.

It was her little crush collection. She’d forgot she had packed those away a few years ago. They must have made it in with her other stuff when she packed up her room. 

Lance sat them on the counter, one by one. “Kinkade, that olkarion guy, Keith, Hunk, James, and ANOTHER Shiro box. Pidge, how many crushes did you have!?” He was in full drama mode now, one would think she had hijacked his dog and his truck and jailed his grandpa the way he was acting. 

She crossed her arms, “Like I said. Had. I had crushes. These were my little reminders of who I liked and what I like about them. Shiro just happens to be a really amazing guy, so there’s the before Kerberos box and the Voltron box.”

“But where is my box?”

His voice was quiet and sad. Even though they had been together awhile, this kind of openness still got to Pidge. She didn’t want to tell him about all the Lance boxes, about the Garrison one which must have been destroyed when they went missing. About the Castle of Lions one which burned up along with the Castle, she was too embarrassed for it to accidentally be found. The tiny crush pouch she collected as they slowly made their way to Earth. The one she started up again that she immediately obliterated when she found Allura reciprocated Lance’s feelings. No need to try and hold on to any evidence in case it might hurt two people she cared about. 

She was willing though, to be open with him, but a knock on the door interrupted her.


	13. You Say One Thing, I Hear Another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance wants a girlfriend. His friends are confused because they assumed he already has one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance saying that Pidge is "just a (best)friend" but his actions/behavior to her is *in not just a friend way* ;)
> 
> Okay, so there is a small comic out there by kororoko where this exact scenario takes place, except it is a college AU. I think about the comic a lot and if Koro sees this, know that this is entirely because of their comic. ;-D

“I’m all alone Hunk.” True to his ever dramatic ways, Lance draped himself over Hunk’s tool table, effectively blocking any more progress he was about to make on Keith’s Planet Hopper’s engine overhaul.. 

Keith, who had joined Hunk halfway through the overhaul process, let out a loud snort. 

“You got something to say to me, Keith?” Apparently Lance was testy as well as ‘lonely’, Hunk moved to break up the altercation before it could begin.

“Guys. Please.” He held his hands up between the other men.

“You’ve got ten minutes, Lance, to elaborate. After that, I’ve got to get back to this engine.” Hunk suspected ten minutes was hardly enough time for Lance to get going. “First, why do you feel you’re all alone?”

Lance nodded, a little pout on his lips. He took a moment to glare at Keith before starting. “Why don’t I have a girlfriend? I waaaant one.” 

Behind him, Hunk heard Keith snort again.

“Alright, let’s go!” Lance pushed past Hunk to grab at Keith. Keith didn’t even flinch. 

“There’s no reason to be angry. I just think you’re being dramatic for no reason. You’re not alone. You’re literally here with me and Hunk right now.” Keith calmly moved Lance’s hands from his shirt front.

Lance made a frustrated growl. “That’s not the same, bro. Didn’t you listen. I. Want. A. Girlfriend.” 

Awareness, then confusion, dawned on Keith’s face. “Isn’t Pidge your girlfriend?”

Hunk was feeling giddy at Keith’s question. Honestly, he’d been wanting to ask Pidge and Lance the same question for a while. He just never found the right moment because one or the other would take off to hang with each other.

“What!?” Lance looked shocked, then started to giggle. “Nah man. I see where you got confused. Pidge is a girl, and she’s my friend, one of my best friends actually, but like, a girlfriend is different.” He patted Keith’s shoulder in pity for how obtuse his friend could be at times.

“I’m not an idiot, Lance. I know what a girlfriend is.” Keith gave Lance a deadpan look. “I just assumed Pidge was your girlfriend. I’m actually shocked she’s not.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lance crossed his arms. 

Keith shrugged.

Hunk tapped his chin, his mind going a mile a minute trying to unravel Pidge and Lance’s relationship.

“Aha!” He put his finger up. “Since we established you’re not alone. What do you want a girlfriend for then?”

“So we can go on dates,” 

“Don’t you already go out every day with Pidge?” Keith interjected.

Lance rolled his eyes.

“And?” Hunk prodded.

“And have dinner together.” 

“Don’t you eat dinner with Pidge pretty much every night?” Keith sounded like he was getting annoyed.

“AND Hunk. I eat dinner with Pidge and Hunk most nights. You know we can’t leave Hunk out when we go food exploring.” Lance made a ‘DuH’ face at Keith.

Hunk nodded, “And I do thank you for that. But you wouldn’t just go out to eat with Pidge alone?

“Oh, nah, I would. We go out all the time without you when you’re too busy.” 

“Okay. What else?”

“What else is there?” Keith asked. 

“What else is there!? You’ve clearly not had a girlfriend either. What else is there indeed.” 

Hunk chuckled to himself. His friends were really hopeless. He bet Keith never even thought about having a relationship, he definitely didn’t seem the type to prioritize something like that.

“Yes, Lance. What else? So far you’ve listed stuff you do with us all the time.”

“Okay. I want to take her in the lions to go see all the amazing sunsets on all the planets we’ve been to. It’d be so romantic.” He clasped his hands at his chest and batted his eyes.

Keith spoke up again. “Didn’t you and Pidge do that already?” Hunk thought Keith knew an awful lot about what Lance and Pidge do considering he wasn’t on base very often.

Lance waved his hand in dismissal. “Yeah, but that was to prove a point. She said sunsets were lame, so I proved otherwise to her. Now we even look for a new planet a week to go watch a sun (or suns) set.” He folded his arms, a smug look upon his face.

“You still haven’t proven to me that Pidge isn’t your girlfriend.” Keith gave a smug look right back to Lance. A spark of challenge in his eyes.

Hunk watched between the two. “Lance! What else?”

Lance tapped his chin in thought. “I mean, I would tell her how cute and pretty and amazing she is every day. How her eyes were just like the sunsets we watched, and how smart she is and how much I just love being around her.” 

Keith moved to speak again, but Hunk purposefully interrupted. “You don’t think Pidge is adorable and pretty? I can’t believe that.”

“No, I do think she’s pretty. But I can’t tell her that. She’d kill me. So I need a girlfriend so i can get all these feelings out.”

“What feelings?” Hunk’s curiosity kept getting more and more piqued.

“You know. The ‘wanting to hold someone in your arms feeling’. The ‘if I just leaned over a little bit our lips would touch’ feelings. The ‘so what if we kissed a few times, it didn’t satisfy me and I keep wanting to come back for more’ feelings. You know, usual girlfriend stuff.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “You’re clueless.” Hunk watched as he stalked out of the room. His mind caught up with what he just heard. 

“This list seems awfully specific. Is there someone you had in mind?”

Lance looked up at Hunk with confusion on his face, then his eyes widened, his cheeks turned red, his mouth made a little “oh” sound. 

Hunk smiled. “I think you just solved your own problem.” He turned back to the engine to continue his repairs. He hoped Keith ended up having as much success with Pidge.


	14. The Great Chasm Between Thought and Action

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small part two of the previous chapter. Lance maybe is getting closer to the truth. Pidge certainly didn't help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now you said it, please more clueless and oblivious Lance about his situation around Pidge (and maybe Matt gets to be involved too) ;
> 
> We rarely do this because our little snippets are there to inspire longer fics, but this is a continuation of last Tuesday’s post.
> 
> Also: I don't imagine Matt being possessive, controlling, or a jealous brother. Honestly, he'd probably be really chill about the whole thing, and he is joking here, but Lance doesn't know it. Neither do the other guys. Matt's humor can come off as really really dry. Only the Holts get it sometimes.

“So, how’d it go?” Hunk tucked his hands under his chin and batted his eyes at Keith, who had just returned to the repair bay after supposedly having a talk with Pidge. 

“Not good. She said they aren’t dating. But said he’d kissed her.” Keith shrugged, striking an uninterested pose against the wall. Hunk knew otherwise. Keith was shaking his leg and fidgeting with his knife. He never did that unless he was actually invested in what was going on.

“Who kissed who?” 

Both men’s heads whipped around to find Matt Holt leaning on the door jamb, his rebel mission clothes still dirty and marked with several laser burns. He moved into the room, a swagger in his step. The mission must have gone well. 

Hunk thought he looked super cool. Keith did too, but would not let anyone know that ever.

“Uh, no one. Just a girl we know.” Hunk wasn’t sure how Matt would take the whole topic regarding his sister. He thought maybe he’d be okay about it, but...brothers…

“Ooo! A new girl, sounds like she’s single still. Is she pretty?” He flicked his hair off his forehead and struck a pose. “I’d make sure she was my girlfriend before I kissed her. It’s what gentlemen do.”

“Gross dude, that’s your sister we’re talking about.” 

Hunk whipped his head around to stare down Keith. 

Keith shrugged.

Hunk slapped his hand on his face. His friend was so completely and utterly clueless at times. 

“Read the room, Keith.” He hissed.

Matt was standing with a shocked look on his face.

An uncomfortable silence stretched out between the three of them.

Soon, Matt shook his head. “Someone is kissing my sister?” More silence. Hunk could almost see Matt thinking through things. “Aaaand...not dating her?”

Matt looked at both men. Keith and Hunk nodded an affirmative.

“Welp” Matt made a fist. “I hate to be this guy, but who do I have to teach a lesson to?”

“Hunk! Are you saying I should date Pidge!?”

Lance came running back into the bay. Hunk was impressed with his timing.

“You!” Matt made a punching motion with his hands.

“Oh, hey Matt. Welcome back.?” Lance gave him a vague look, turning his attention back to Hunk for some definitive answers.

Matt grabbed him by the collar and turned him back around. 

Lance held out his hands. “Woah, dude! What’s your deal?”

“Well, I...Why would you kiss Pidge and not date her. It’s not cool man. That’s my sister!”

Lance looked confused. “Why wouldn’t I kiss her? We’re friends. Sometimes, when we’re chilling, watching a movie or something, she just looks so loveable. So I give her forehead a little kiss. Or her cheek. Occasionally...her….lips….” A stunned look crossed Lance’s face. “You kiss her forehead too. We’re a very touchy Paladin group, even Keith...sometimes. Why does everyone keep bringing up me dating Pidge?”

Hunk didn’t think it was the time to point out to Lance that he had started it earlier when he complained about not having a girlfriend.

Matt made an incredulous noise. “So, not a jerk, just obtuse.” He looked over Lance’s shoulder to Hunk and Keith.

“I’m going to go talk to Pidge. Maybe have a talk about boundaries.” He stared pointedly at Lance when he said this. “You two, please explain to our clueless friend here.”

They watched Matt go.

Keith stood uncomfortably to the side. 

Lance looked at Hunk questioningly.

Hunk leveled his gaze onto Lance. “Bud. Brotato. Broseph. I need you to think about something.”

“Sure. I still don’t know what’s going on.”

“Just. Think. We’re best buds, right?”

“Yeah, you’re my homie.” 

“And you’d say we are just as close, if not closer than you and Pidge?”

“Sure. I mean, we have more history. I love you both.”

“And, we hug and hang out and all that?”

“Yeah. I don’t see where you are going?”

“Have you ever kissed me on the mouth, ever,?”

“...”


	15. One More Ought to do It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge plays an otomen game and unwittingly chooses a route that is very much like Lance.

** _“...I didn’t see you there.”_ **

  
  


(Choose one)

**“It’s okay, I’m just doing my job.”**

**“Oh, you’re so blind sometimes, you idiot.”**

**“WAAaaaa! S-s-sorry I ran into you.””**

**“Dork, I’ve been here the whole time.”**

  
  


Pidge leaned back into the pillows she had arranged around her for optimal gaming comfort, they squished up under her back in just the right way, causing her to sigh. Why was this so hard? She was a whiz at video games, usually. Even so, she’d done nothing but fail at this one. 

Sure, the Garrison psychologist suggested she find ways to bridge the gap between her love of technology and her need to be around people. And sure, Nadia gave the game raving reviews, saying that even Ina was able to navigate through all but one storyline, though Pidge was realizing it was probably because she had figured out the formula for each character and just went with that. Ina was exceptionally good at seeing patterns after all.

And Pidge knew she was as well, generally, but this just wasn’t clicking. Who cares if you can get an imaginary character to fall in love with you? How was this going to help her with her “interpersonal relationship issues”, whatever they meant by that…?”.

Pidge considered her choices again. She’d gotten further with this character than all the others, mainly making choices like she would in real life. It sucked as much in real life as it did in the game. She preferred not being in touch with her feelings better anyway.

She sighed again, she couldn’t sit here staring at the screen hoping the answer would present itself. It wasn’t rocket science after all. That, she could do. 

Pidge scrolled through her choices again. If she was being honest with herself, and that was the whole point of this game anyway, right? She would have snapped at the person, losing her patience and calling them an idiot, mostly though, to save face. And, in the pursuit of social honesty, she actually wanted the character to recognize that she had been trying to be a good friend to them all along. 

“Number four it is.” She breathed out in a soft whisper.

** _“...Been here all along?....”_ ** The character gave a soft smile at the screen, something like affection showing in his eyes. 

** _“You have been here, haven’t you. I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.”_ **

The screen faded to black. Pidge covered her eyes in embarrassment, that was her last chance at passing her self-inflicted social test and she’d failed. She was reaching for her phone to text Nadia of her failure when some soft, romantic music started playing. The computer screen lit back up, bathing the room in a soft, pink light. On screen the main character and the ‘object of her affection’ appeared to be going on dates. Lot’s of them. 

Pidge watched as they shared a milkshake at a diner, ate a picnic at a park, and went stargazing. Scene after scene flipped by showing a growing romantic relationship. Her palms were sweating. 

The snapshots stopped and an animated scene started. They were at the beach, the love interest leading her down the sand toward the water, his arm disappearing into the screen in a first person perspective. He was glowing in the low light of sunset, his caramel skin shining, his blue eyes sparkling with excitement.

**“Where are you taking me?”**

** _“Be patient, we’re almost there.”_ **

**“You know I’m the most patient person in the universe. I waited years for you.”**

He led them to the edge of the water, the sunset glorious, the scenery breathtaking. The character turned back around to face the screen.

** _“I know that now. Thank you for waiting. What do you think?”_ **

**“It’s lovely.”**

He took her hand again.  ** _“I promised myself that, if I ever fell in love, I would show her this spot.”_ **

**“You what?”**

  
  


Pidge’s was transfixed, her whole body flushed, her heart raced. Never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined the scene ending like this. With Lance confessing his love to her. 

Wait. Not Lance. The character was named Carlos or something. 

Her stomach dropped, and she let the controller drop out of her hands. She’d been playing this route as if it were her and Lance. She’d been trying to get Lance to notice her. She may be in love with Lance! Oh God!

She picked up her phone to text Nadia but decided against it. 

Her cheeks flushed again and Pidge held her hands up to them, moved her hands down to her heart and felt it racing. How could she not have noticed all this time? How would she go out of this room tomorrow and hang out with the guys and eat lunch with them and generally be around them?

She couldn’t believe she had never noticed before. Her psychologist had said she was clueless, nicely, but she didn’t know she was that clueless.

She was in love with Lance?

  
She was in  _ love _ with Lance!


	16. I Might Be Pregnant!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance thinks everyone gets their period, he seeks advice from Pidge when he doesn't get his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS CRACK with a capital C! Please keep that in mind when reading. Also, a warning, it is rated T because of brief mentions of S. E. X.   
Also also, I got second hand embarrassment from writing this. So good luck reading it. :-D

There was a soft knock on the door to her quarters, startling Pidge. It was so soft she thought she might have been hearing things.

“Pidge. You in there?”

Ah, Lance. Odd of him to be so hesitant.

“Yeah.”

“You decent? Can I come in?”

Pidge had to snort at that. In all the time she’s known him, he had been an ‘enter first knock later’ kind of guy. Of course, that was back when he still thought she was a boy. To this day she still didn’t know how he failed to realize when he’d seen her practically naked more than once. 

She coughed, “Yeah.”

The door slid open and Lance came in slowly, almost sheepishly.

With a soft whir the door slid close behind Lance, leaving him standing still, almost frozen in spot.

Pidge crossed her legs, readjusting the bunched up blankets under them. This was starting to be worrisome, not like Lance at all. She raised an eyebrow at him.

“You got something you wanna say?” 

He started to point his fingers together, shifting his feet back and forth, looking at the ground.

“So..um..I need to ask you a question.”

Pidge didn’t understand this Lance, he was so unsure of himself.

“Okaaay. What?” No sense beating around the bush.

“IthinkI’mpregnant!”

If Pidge had been drinking something, she would have spit it all over the room. Instead she choked on her own saliva. “WHAT!? Why..why..what!?”

Lance looked actually worried now, anxiety causing his eyebrows to rise really high on his forehead.

“Um… I don't know, Pidge, it’s just.” He kept shuffling his feet and being fidgety.

Pidge patted a space next to her on her bed. “Come sit here, you dork, and tell me, whyyy, for the life of you, you think you’re pregnant. It’s impossible anyway.”

Lance finally focused on her face, then sighed his way over to sit next to her.

Several minutes stretched out between them. Pidge honestly didn’t have a lot of free time so this needed to be addressed quickly.

“Dude, why?”

Lance took a deep breath. “Well, you know how popular we are and stuff, and people love Loverboy Lance” He took a moment to preen, though it did little to erase the anxiety written on his face. “A few phoebs ago I kind of made out with a couple of the fans and I know my siblings always told me I was a late bloomer, but I still haven’t gotten my period, and then I found out you’re a girl and you’re younger than me and Coran said you get your period regularly when I asked him what was wrong with me.”

“You talked about my period with CORAN!?” Pidge smacked his arm softly. 

“Well, yeah! I asked him about mine and clearly they don’t have anything like that on Altea, but he said you came to chill in the healing pod every month, no pun intended, and said it was your period. So, I haven’t got mine, and I made out with an alien and, who knows, maybe that was like sex for them, and now I’m here, about to become a parent and I don’t know who the other parent is!”

Pidge rolled her eyes, Lance was dramatic if nothing else. “First off, I wanna text the guys so bad. Keith’s gonna love this.” She grabbed her communication device.

Lance grabbed it from her hand. “No! This is serious Pidge. When did you get your first period and how do you know?” He looked crestfallen.

“Seriously. This is serious? Bruh, we went to school together for two years. We had the same health classes together. They talked about uteruses! What part didn’t you understand?” Pidge questioned her own sanity.

“I just assumed we were shot into space before we reached the guy stuff.” Lance shrugged.

“What guy stuff? Y'all are pretty simple you know.” Pidge’s face blossomed red, she didn’t want to think about guy ‘stuff’ while sitting right next to Lance.

“You know! Like, guy periods. Marco and Rachel told me they would tell me more when I’m older and also that I wasn’t fully grown till I got mine and I think I missed out on the whole portion of health class. Pidge,” He turned and grabbed her shoulders. “You need to help me.”

Pidge was embarrassed and also completely amused all at the same time. “I wanna text Hunk.” 

“Please, Pidge. This isn’t a joke.”

Pidge’s shoulder shook with restrained laughter, she couldn’t answer Lance because she couldn’t believe how ridiculous this conversation was. Matt had given her misinformation over the years, but nothing this grievous, long standing, and, admittedly, hilarious.

“You’re fine. You have nothing to worry about. Your family trolled you. You have never, and will never, get a period. And you won’t get pregnant from aliens...I think. Honestly, foriegn biology is not my strong point.”

Lance stared at her, relief washing over his face. “I’m not pregnant?”

“Nope.”

“And I won’t ever get my period?”

“Nope, and if you are ever bleeding from ‘down there’ you have a reason to be seriously worried.”

“But you can’t guarantee anything regarding alien biology?”

“Nope. I only know how it works on Earth.”

“So...if I stick with kissing girls from Earth, I’m good?” Lance’s worried face turned into something a little more lascivious. 

“Um. yeah. You can’t get a girl pregnant by kissing them.” Pidge’s face felt like it was on fire. This was the most embarrassing talk she’d ever had.

“I could kiss you.”

“WHAT!?”

“You’re a girl, from Earth, and...I could kiss you.” 

“Lance, I thought we were talking about periods.”


	17. I Dos and I Don't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge sees how well Lance gets along with her mum and starts to think he might be the daughter she always wanted.

***Pidge sees how well Lance gets along with her mum and starts to worry that Lance is effectively the daughter Colleen always wanted***

  
  


Pidge tapped her foot, impatience growing within her. This was what? Dress number five? Each one taking a good twenty to thirty minutes to get on and arranged, then she had to walk out on the little stage thingy that was surrounded by mirrors, and have her mom, the girls, and somehow Hunk made it in here, decide if it was a yes or no.

It wasn’t like she didn’t harbor any excitement over picking her wedding dress out, but the excitement waned with each “it’s just that your frame is  _ so _ small” and “most dresses are designed for the taller individual, but I’m sure we can alter this somehow”, and she would spin on the little stage and everyone who announce that she looked like a child playing dress-up. Well..not everyone. Nadia and Ina were the worst offenders. Though, Pidge had to admit, she appreciated their bluntness, not to mention, they were entirely right. 

The salesperson finished adding the last clip in back, then brushed down the sides to smooth out the wrinkled spots. Pidge didn’t bother to look. She figured she’d go ahead and be disappointed with the rest of the group. 

“Oh! I know. Just one more thing.” The salesperson disappeared behind a hidden door, for who knows what. 

Pidge fidgeted with the sleeve of the dress. At least these sleeves stopped at her wrist instead of trailing down her arms like Lance’s shirts tended to do. 

She wished he was here right now. Sort of. He always had a good eye for things that looked good on her. And also apparently for wedding stuff in general. Honestly, their whole wedding planning was basically the Lance show. Scratch that, the Lance and Colleen show. 

Her mom and Lance conferred on everything wedding. And, Pidge reasoned, she was Colleen’s only daughter, so it was her one chance at planning a wedding. And Pidge didn’t care. As long as she was married to Lance by the end of it, that’s all that mattered. And maybe they’d get some sweet wedding presents. 

Somewhere to the side, her phone buzzed. She hiked up the voluminous skirts and shuffled her way over. The attendant hadn’t returned yet, so Pidge wouldn’t suffer their wrath and their cries of “It’s your dress day! Do not be distracted!”.

The screen lit up with a notification from “Honeybuns”. Lance had changed his name in her phone like a year ago and, though Pidge gave him a hard time about it, she actually thought it was adorable and kept it. Lance was pretty full of himself about it for a while.

**Honeybuns:** How’s it going? Colleen said nothing looks right. I sent her some ideas as a jumping off point.

**Me: ** Fine I guess. This is taking too long. I’d rather be at the coffee shop across the street waiting with you. 

**Honeybuns:** Don’t lie Pidgey. You’d rather be in your lab. 

**Me:** Nah. This time I’d rather be hanging with you. It’s been days of wedding planning with the group. Let’s hang out tonight, just us. I’ll let you massage my feet.

**Honeybuns:** As much as I want to hang, your mom and I have more planning to do. So I’ll be at your house anyway.

Pidge felt irked. Her mom deferred to Lance on everything these days. When she was newly engaged, Colleen would bring pictures and magazine cutouts and venue information right to Pidge. And sure, she would tell her mom she didn’t care. But...she was still her mom. And Lance seemed to hijack all her attention.

**Me:** …

**Honeybuns** : What’s wrong?

**Me:** Are you sure you’re not my Mom’s actual daughter?

**Honeybuns:** LOL! Okay.

**Me:** Not funny. She likes you more than me.

**Honeybuns:** What’s going on? 

**Me:** Nothing. Just you and her and our wedding. 

All the little feelings of jealousy bubbled up in Pidge in that moment. Lance was always so open and honest, he was always willing to share his thoughts and feelings, he told Colleen everything, and she seemed to love him. More often than not, if her mom was texting someone, it was Lance. They went on lunch dates, and shopping, and her mom would come home raving about Lance’s tastes. Pidge should have been happy they got along so well, but she wasn’t.

**Honeybuns:** !!! What about it!? I’m coming over right now.

**Me:** I’m in a dress. You can’t.

**Honeybuns:** Doesn’t matter. I’m coming over.

Pidge started crying. Lance was so great. And her mom could do all the fun wedding stuff she wanted because of him. She finally looked up, tears falling down her face. The dress was perfect. 

  
  



	18. TOP TEN THINGS THAT ANNOY ME

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shirtless Lance Month.
> 
> Pidge is making a video for her viewers. Lance is a distraction.

**TOP TEN THINGS THAT ANNOY ME**

“Hello Internet. Pidge here. Well, Katie, but you guys know me as Pidge. I don’t know why I’m rambling like this. Anyway, if this is your first time here, yes, I am ‘Pidge Gunderson’, Paladin of Voltron, Pilot of Green, Holder of ALL TOP SCORES in ALL VIDEO GAMES EVER.

...What? No. No you don’t. You won on a technicality!

Ignore that.  _ Laaance _ seems to think he holds as many top scores as I do. Which isn’t true.

…No it’s not.

Sorry you had to see that. Though this does segue into the topic of this video. Top Ten Things That Annoy Me. Pidge. 

….Again? I’m trying to make a video.

NUMBER ONE! Or ten..I guess let’s go with that number structure. I’m usually very organized, but someone keeps interrupting and distracting me and I ended up not being totally prepared. But I digress.

Off the top of my head.

Number TEN. Unnecessary code. I get the complexity involved in creating programs that can communicate with different processors and the like, but I hate when it’s bulky for no reason. Clean your bloat people.

...No, I’m not.  _ You’re _ a nerd.

Ahem. Number NINE. I don’t know, you’d think it’d be space goo. But once you eat it for so long, you get used to it. Or your body does, who knows. I guess number nine is craving space goo.

….Lance! I can’t say that, there are rules you know.

Number EIGHT. Being distracted by a certain someone who has no regard for the proper business of making a video for dedicated and new viewers. 

...Yes. You’re distracting. No. I don’t need to see how distracting you can be.

Number SEVEN. Sock seams. They’re annoying. And even I have yet to be able to create a machine to eliminate them. 

...I have to wear socks. Not just socks. What are you…

Sorry about that. Lance is determined to make me crazy today.

Number SIX. 

...No, I do not think sock seams was boring. You’re boring.

Anyway, number SIX. Not owning all the top scores in this house. I know what I said earlier. But somebody has their name on several of the games. He can be very distracting when he wants to.

...Stop that…

….

...Uh..What number? Oh, Five.

Number FIVE. I’ve got to finish this before anything else happens. Blue eyed people. One blue eyed person. Stop winking at me. I…

_ *Cough* _ . 

Number FOUR. Not Double Modulating the Gendocams. This is for you, Hunk. You’re such a good mechanic, how can you be so lazy in this department? It’s embarrassing honestly.

...I didn’t forget about you…

Number THREE....

...Where’s your shirt? I was wondering why you looked so wet.”

**(voice over) “I apparently forgot a number three. Sorry folks.”**

Number TWO. Smooth Tan Skin, rippling abs, long limbs…

...It’s your fault! No, don’t come over here.

Everyone, Lance. Blue Paladin. Yadayada.”

“Come on Pidgey, don’t be so cruel.”

“DON’T SIT ON MY LAP WHEN YOUR SHIRT IS OFF!”

“Pfffffft. You love it.”

“Stop pointing the camera at yourself.”

“So, Pidgey here needs to go now. Her brand new hubby needs attention from her.”

**TEXT [ SORRY FOLKS, Number one is never staying angry or winning an argument with your brand new husband because he takes off his shirt Every. Single. Time. ]**


	19. This (You) is (are) Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance (and most of the crew) end up participating in a 'wet' t-shirt contest that ends abruptly.

The crowded bar was getting noisier and more boisterous the longer the event was delayed. Pidge and Allura were stuffed into a small, dark corner booth, the other Paladins blocking the stage while they argued amongst themselves.

“Well, I think I should be the one to enter, everyone loves Loverboy Lance, I’m sure they can’t wait to see what I have underneath my clothes.” The amount of confidence that rolled off Lance as he smoothed his hands down his body to showcase his physique never ceased to amaze Pidge. He knew he looked good, or so she assumed.

“That won’t do.” Coran spoke up from behind the guys. “Clearly Shiro is the beloved of everyone, and has the most commonly admired physique amongst you all. HIf he enters our chances of securing the Credits needed rises ten fold.” 

Everyone nodded, they had to admit that Shiro was a prime specimen of a man.

“Now hold up, we can’t really be sure what the crowd is looking for. Look at the other entries.” Hunk, the constant voice of reason, pointed over his shoulder at the stage, moving to the side enough that Pidge could see. 

He wasn’t wrong, there were several different beings up there, some of which Pidge questioned how in the world they would participate in a “Heavily Moistened Upper Body Clothing Item” contest. She also had a strong suspicion that, though they were at a weird outpost bar, in the farthest reaches of the universe, the proprietor of the establishment had been to Earth at some point. Either that, or everyone across this universe enjoyed ogling wet, hot people. It was probably the latter.

A half empty glass smashed on the wall behind Pidge’s head, the crowd becoming more restless due to the delay. They wanted wet men, and they wanted them now. Pidge leaned over to Allura “Can’t you do something about this? You’re an all-knowing space goddess now, right?” 

Allura rolled her eyes, stifling a giggle. “I already told you, I traded the all-knowing part in order to bring Lotor and myself back to this reality.” Pidge knew this, but had spent so much time ‘talking’ to Allura when she was gone, that it became a habit. “Who do you think should enter then? It’s getting rough in here, and we really need the credits to get home.”

Pidge watched as Allura tapped her chin, a little glint in her eye. “I’ve got it!” She stood up, slapping her hands on the table. “How about all of you enter? That way we have five chances to win. Our odds go up quite favorably.” 

“Uh, Allura, don’t you mean four? I’m not entering a wet t-shirt contest.” Pidge crossed her arms, besides, the contest seemed designed for dudes anyway.

“Oh, Coran will enter as well. We need as many chances as possible.” She gave Coran a sly look.

“Why Princess! This is a brilliant solution. Your time being all-knowing has really paid off!” Coran grabbed the guys and headed toward the director of the contest. Keith seemed to become aware of what was going on at the last minute, hollering about how he didn’t agree to any of this right before his jacket was ripped off and a thin, white shirt was pulled over his head. 

Moments later the bar got even darker as the stage lit up. All the men were paraded out and lined the stage. Pidge full on laughed at the two glowing balls of energy wearing the prescribed shirt. She wondered at their chances in winning.

Sexy music started playing and the guys started moving and gyrating, making themselves as appealing as possible. The energy orbs kind of faded in and out in rhythmic pulsing, an Unilu did the weirdest thing with his arms, and Shiro full on started dancing some ancient Earth dance that the people did in the 1970’s. The man was hot, but he could not dance. Pidge hid her face in her hands, realizing Shiro was more embarrassing than whatever it was Coran was doing. Holy moly, they might not have bettered their chances. At least Hunk and Lance both had some very good moves, though Keith just stood there with his arms crossed.

Suddenly, a grotesque gurgling sound echoed through the bar. Heads started turning to find out where it was coming from, though it seemed to surround them. Pipes that looked like shower nozzles rose up in front of the stage. They started shaking as the gurgling sound made its way toward the stage, then they burst forth with a pungent, sticky, goo-like substance that began to spray all over the contestants on stage. The contestants began to slip and slide in the goo as it soaked into their weird shirts causing them to go almost see-through instantly. The glowing orbs began to change color, Coran started some sort of ice skating routine, and Lance screamed at the top of his lungs. “WHAT THE QUIZNAK!?”

He ripped off his shirt, tossing it into the crowd. The crowd went wild. Everyone was screaming and whistling, drinks sloshing to the floor as the spectacle on stage worsened. 

Allura was laughing her head off, thoroughly amused at the chaos. She had been oddly delighted when things went wrong ever since she came back.

Lance screamed again, slipping on a glob of the goo and careening off the stage. “Pidge! Help me!” He ran through the crowd as they grasped at him, trying to get him back up on stage, but he was too slippery. He came to a halt directly in front of her.

He was panting, his chest rising and falling with every breath. Pidge couldn’t take her eyes off of him, the way the slime caused the limited light to shine off of every lithe muscle, the expanse of his chest in her sight. His skin reminded her of hot coffee with a lot of heavy cream. Hot. He was hot. And so slippery, standing in front of her. She knew who she was voting for.

“Earth to Pidge!? You okay?” Lance was tapping her head. She dragged her eyes away from their joyous task, only to immediately get lost again in the blue of his eyes. 

“You’re more than okay. You’re fine. Capital F.” Lance cocked an eyebrow at her rather off the wall statement.

“No, are you okay? You’re staring…. Ohohoh. You are staring. You like what you see?” Lance leaned over Pidge, his hand on the wall behind her. “Cause, Lancey Lance will give you a show any time you ask.” 

Pidge slowly nodded, then realized now wasn’t the time to ogle her long time crush. Even if they’ve been a little more than friends recently. She really would like a show though….

Allura pulled at Pidge’s arm. Pidge realized all the guys had gathered around and they were being dragged out of the bar. The whole place had gone insane and the contest had turned into a giant brawl instead. 

“Let’s get out of here!”

They moved as quickly as they could on all the slime everywhere, finally bursting out into the darkened streets of the small moon’s town. 

“Thank Bob we made it out in one piece.” Shiro said, while looking worse for wear. His pants were barely held together, they were torn so badly. All of the guys had completely lost their shirts, though Keith had fared better other than that. At least his pants were firmly on his body.

“So, who won?” Allura clapped in anticipation. Everyone looked at her like she had gone insane.

“No one. Did you not see what just happened!?” Keith finally spoke up.

“Oh. So...we don’t have enough credits to get home?”

Everyone’s eyes widened as their predicament loomed large again.

“Quiznak.”


End file.
